5 WAYS TO “COME BACK” IF YOU ARE DISSOCIATING
Dissociation is a common experience, and especially so among individuals who have experienced trauma. Though occasional dissociation is generally not dangerous or problematic, it can be disconcerting to realize that you have been disconnected from the present. Further, when dissociation becomes a more frequent occurrence, it can disrupt every aspect of life.
How To Know If You’re Dissociating
Pretty much all of us dissociate sometimes. If you have ever had the experience of being in conversation and having no idea what the other person just said, or of arriving at your destination but not remembering much about the drive there, you have experienced mild dissociation. Feeling “spaced out” or operating on “autopilot” are common ways people might describe what are actually dissociative experiences.
Dissociation exists on a spectrum, however, and signs of more moderate to severe dissociation include:
Feeling outside of your body
Physical or emotional detachment/numbness
Feeling like you are in a dream or as though your surroundings are not real
Having no memory for significant chunks of time
For a more detailed breakdown of what dissociation is, different dissociative disorders, and how dissociation relates to trauma, see here.
Landing Back in Reality
It can be challenging to recognize in the moment that you have dissociated. Because of this, trying to prevent dissociative episodes in the first place is your best initial strategy. Utilizing mindfulness or grounding skills throughout your day and engaging in general stress management work and physical self-care can lower the likelihood of dissociation.
Despite these efforts, dissociation might still happen. Try to gain awareness of your early warning signs that you are starting to dissociate. Do you start to feel foggy? Lose sensation in your hands? Find that the sounds around you seem more distant? Different people experience dissociation in different ways, so you are trying to pinpoint your body’s unique signals. Note that these questions are often easier to answer in hindsight when you reflect back on an experience of dissociation.
Moving forward, as soon as you observe your warning signs, try one or more of these five options to help you recenter yourself in present reality:
Engage in sensory experiences, particularly ones that have some intensity. Holding ice or splashing very cold water on your face can be good options.
Use a grounding object. Your object could be anything but ideally it is something you can carry with you and have easy access to, like a piece of jewelry you wear or a small rock you keep in your pocket. Touch your object whenever you feel yourself starting to drift. Notice its shape, texture, and temperature.
Try balancing. Stand or hop on one foot, or do a balancing yoga pose if that’s your thing. Balancing exercises engage the vestibular system which helps us come back to the present.
Hold your arms out to the side parallel to the ground. Turn your head slowly side to side, alternating looking at the fingers on each hand. This exercise also engages the vestibular system.
Find an anchor. An anchor can be anything, internal or external, that offers a sense of comfort or safety. Examples could include the feeling of a deep breath in your body, pictures of loved ones, seeing the sun outside or feeling it on your skin, or sitting with your pet. Just notice and stay with your anchor.
Beyond the Moment
I hope these strategies help you navigate moments where dissociation is or could be present. If dissociation is a frequent experience for you, however, there is likely something deeper that needs to be addressed. Chronic dissociation is most common in individuals who experienced persistent physical, emotional, or sexual abuse in childhood.
In these cases, it is unlikely that dissociation will resolve without treating the underlying trauma that necessitated it in the first place. EMDR therapy is a powerful way to do this work. Interested in learning more? Contact me today to get started.
Please note: This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a licensed mental health provider or other healthcare professional for guidance related to your specific mental health or medical concerns.
