HOW A MAXIMIZER MINDSET CREATES ANXIETY
Say you want to eat tacos. Are you the kind of person who is fine with any tacos, or are you set on finding THE BEST tacos in your city? If the latter resonates with you, then you might be a maximizer. Maximizers aren’t content with just any option. They want to consider a large array of possibilities even when making minor decisions to ensure that they are arriving at the optimal choice.
On the surface, this might seem like a positive way of living. Isn’t maximizing just an indication of caring? Reflective of a desire to get the most out of life? In theory, yes, but in practice this mindset creates a lot of harm.
The Hamster Wheel of Maximizing
Maximizers tend to have the underlying belief that in any given situation there is a “right” or “best” choice. They devote significant time and energy to researching and evaluating their options to try to arrive at this best or right choice. The problem, however, is that there really is no objective best or right choice with anything in life; there are simply options with different pros and cons.
Maximizers run into trouble because of this impossibility. Maximizers desperately try to avoid making a “bad” decision which often leads to making no decision at all. They are convinced they don’t have all the information necessary to choose a path forward and so continue to spin their wheels assessing different options. Anxiety grows as a maximizer prolongs the decision making process, catastrophizes around the idea of making a “wrong” choice, and overwhelms themselves with alternatives.
Even when a maximizer does make a choice, the matter is often not settled. They might continue to shop houses, scroll dating apps, or compare moisturizer brands “just in case.” It may not be surprising, then, that research shows maximizers to be more prone to regret and less satisfied with their decisions and their lives overall.
How to Stop
There is a difference between wanting to make good choices and maximizing. How can you maintain intentionality in your decision making without falling into the maximizing trap? Here are some thoughts:
Consider what decisions really matter. We are faced with hundreds of small decisions every single day, and the vast majority of them are inconsequential to our lives as a whole. Save your energy for decisions that genuinely impact the direction or quality of your life, like where you live, your job, how you manage your finances, or who you partner with.
Limit the number of options you consider. More options makes it more difficult to choose and easier to second-guess or regret your choices. Check-in with your values, needs, and preferences to establish some parameters you are looking for when making a major decision. Then, try to only consider a handful of options that meet those parameters.
Have time boundaries. Don’t leave big decisions open-ended. Having too much time to decide creates room for anxiety and self-doubt to grow. Once you have a few viable options, set a deadline (ideally a short one, e.g., hours to days) by which time you have to make a choice.
No take backs. Once you choose, that’s it. Don’t keep looking at options after the fact (e.g., continuing to browse Zillow after going under contract on a home). If you feel insecure or unsure of your decision, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that it is done and you did the best you could.
Practice gratitude. Maximizing puts us in a mindset of always looking for something better rather than appreciating what we already have. Gratitude practice is a beautiful antidote.
If maximizing is getting you stuck or negatively impacting your mental health, therapy can also be a great tool to help you break free from this cycle and find peace and contentment. Contact me today to learn more.
Please note: This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a licensed mental health provider or other healthcare professional for guidance related to your specific mental health or medical concerns.
